Giving thanks

Today was a day to remember. Not only because I was with my family but it was also Thanksgiving! So Happy Thanksgiving everyone or anyone that is reading this. One thing that I love about Thanksgiving is the fact that I am with my family.
Looking back to when I was little there are very few memories that don't come from family get togethers. Either Thanksgiving or Christmas. I can even remember a few Easters with all the family. But I love my family! <3 I may not see them as much anymore or even really talk to them a whole lot but I love my crazy mixed up family. It's hard actually going up because everyone tells you that when you get older you'll be wishing to go back. In a way everyone was right because when I was younger everything was easier and everyone was there because we were all so young. But now my oldest cousin has a girlfriend and lives in Florida, the next two in line are married with kids, then there is the 4!
The 4 include: Myself, my cousin Nate, my cousin Taylor, and my cousin Sammie. When we were younger we did everything together and when I say everything I pretty much mean everything! I remember camping trips where Nate, Taylor, and I would terrorize Sammie. I remember a time when Nate and I were like best friends and we didn't want anything to do with Taylor or Sammie. And now.....Nate is engaged!! To a great girl named Audrey. Taylor is for the greatest reasons one of my best friends. and Sammie is really starting to grow on me.....
So much so I decided to have a little photo shoot with her today. It was awesome because I think for the first time I got to see another side of Sam and I liked what I saw! I may not be able to go back in time but I think today helped me remember that I'm looking forward to what the future brings. Bring it....

What is love?

A question that I ask a lot is what is love? Never having been in love myself I don't really know...but I do know what it should be. Being with someone who makes you smile no matter what kind of mood you are in. Loving someone for their flaws and their uniqueness. Being with someone who makes you feel special so much so that you just can't help let it out. If that is the case then maybe I shot a little bit of that today....
I had a shoot today with my good friend Christa and her boyfriend Tommy. I've known Christa since I got transferred to my current store and let me tell you that Christa having a boyfriend is nothing really special. I am not being mean ask her and she will tell you. So I was surprised when she said that she wanted to take pictures with Tommy.
When we first got to sunset park Tommy was a little quiet which was different for Christa. But as the day went on and he got a little more lose I could see why Christa let me take these pictures. Her and Tommy are really cute together. Taking their pictures was easy because they made each other laugh. I didn't really have to do a lot but press the button on my camera.
Being behind a camera lets you see who people really are. There is not much you can really hide from a camera. Will Christa and Tommy make it to forever....I don't know? But I do know that there is something there. If you don't believe me maybe you can see it in the pictures....

Second chances

Sometimes second chance are the best thing. When I first started out in this photography bussiness I was nervous and so very scared. My first shoot was with me good friend Trinity and her boyfriend Brandon. I litterally only took about 20 pictures and only edited about 4. I was so nervous I didn't have any confidence in myself. But that is the beauty of second chances.
Yesterday I got to reshoot pictures for Trinity. Everything was so different I was amazed! Even Trinity could tell that things were going better. When that happens you know you have something great happening. The location was better, the lightening was amazing, and even Trinity's curly hair stayed together. This time I had in total about 350 pictures to start and edited about 20 of them.
I had a great time with Trinity and I know that things are getting better. Other things may be falling apart of photography is not and I am so thankful for that! You know you wanna see the pictures...well here are a few of my favorites!!

Baby showers!

So on Sunday I had the opportunity to shoot my first baby shower. I gotta tell you I was nervous. I don't know why I was so nervous I was just going to a house I had never been to with a house full of people I have never seen before. No reason to be nervous!! I keep getting more and more nervous which is not good because in this profession you can't be nervous when you meet new people.
I first have to give a huge thank you to Janice who invited me to the shower and also a huge thank you to her daughter Amber who is actually having the baby. I think the first problem was that the party was at 3 in the afternoon so the light wasn't all that great. Also the light that I did have was fading quickly! I think the biggest problem though was that I was very unprepared! I have to learn more and keep practicing. But that is why we go things over and over again so we get better! I still have a lot to learn but I am an pen book just waiting to be filled with information.
Anyhow the results came out nice. I think so anyway....I hope that Amber and Janice like them. I also can't wait until December when Amber has the baby and she said I could take the newborn pictures! I am very excited about that but that is if they still want me to....

A Clear Head....Finally!

So I have been doing a lot of soul searching and praying for this past week. I will tell you one thing, this week as not been a walk in the park! I have shed a LOT of tears and written tons of pages in my journal. And everything boils down to this one thought....I can do this!
My last blog was probably the lowest I have been in a long time. Funny how this time I wrote a blog about it. But to be perfectly honest it actually helped. Last Monday was my breaking point! I found myself on the floor of my kitchen, in the dark, crying my eyes out! But then the weirdest thing happened...I suddenly felt this warmth around me and all of the sudden my heart was full of love and the answers I had been looking for were all in my head. My tears of sadness and loneliness suddenly turned into tears of joy and hope. Hope...a word I thought was lost to me forever is now all I can think about. Hope for the future, hope for me, and hope for everyone else that I love and care about. But mainly hope for myself! I have lived to long worried about what other people think that I forget to think about what I want and what I care about. Even in my last blog I was worried about 1 person's opinion about what I want to do with my life and no one should ever make you question yourself! So lets start this over again.
My name is Bri, I'm 23 years old and I want to be a Photographer when I grow up! Then again I don't really want to grow up but yeah everyone has to someday. I have spent a week getting into my head and figuring out why I love photography......
I love what happens when people are put in front of a camera. You get to see someone for who they really are. There is so much you can do with photo shop but one thing you can't replace or add or edit is who the person is. I love being behind the camera and getting know someone all over again. I love the relationships you make at a photo shoot. Getting to be a part of someones special moment whether it is at a party, at a park, or even in the middle of the desert. Having someone trust you enough to let you see them is a feeling I don't think I would trade for anything. I hear people say to "live your life," and "don't waste another day," and I want to do all that from behind a camera lens. Travel the world and see everything that this beautiful planet has to offer. Being there for my friends on their special days. Capturing the absolute beauty of a single moment.
Things change and I use to think that changes were bad until I witnessed the biggest change of all....myself!

Confusing Changes

I don't know where to start? I thought I had everything figured out and now I think I really don't have anything figured out. I use to know what I wanted and now... I just don't know? Ever since I was little when anyone would ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up my answer was always the same, something in law enforcement. It went from a police officer, then a detective, then a profiler, and then a crime scene investigator. But the field never changed. That's what I wanted, that was my dream. Then when I got to high school things started to change.
I wanted to join the military, being really good in JROTC was a plus. I was good at it and I honestly can say that I loved it. I was also good in band but JROTC won my heart. I remember actually being excited to get up in the morning and go to school. 7th period was by far my favorite class, drill team. Then I got a job at Albertsons and high school ended. It was time for college and to actually decide what I wanted to be when I grew up.
College started and my major was nothing other than, Criminal Justice. My first year at UNLV was fun. I had no friends but the classes were fun and work actually worked with me so I could go to school and still keep my job. Then more changes happened and all of the sudden I went from a full time student to only taking one class a semester. Suddenly work became everything! I would get up in the morning, go to work, come home, sleep, and then do it all over again. That would be awesome if I liked what I did. Even to this day, 5 years later, I still work at Albertsons and right now I am not in school.
I'm not in school because if I restrict myself at work then I lose my hours, which means I lose money, which means I can't afford school. So I work as much as I can and put school on the back burner. Sitting here writing this makes me sad because you would think that a job would want you to further your education but that's not the case! Then one more change happens...
I decide to change my major from Criminal Justice to Photography and everything flips upside down. It's not enough that I can't afford to go to school but what really sucks is that now I actually want to go to school and become something better and I can't. I want to explore this amazing world and learn everything I can about this consantly changing field but I can't. I know where there is a will there is a way but I can't take the chance of my job finding out I'm going to school and cutting my hours, I can't take that chance! And the cherry on top of my pity cake is that the one person I thought would be happy for me, I don't really think is!
The one person who inspired me to chase a dream and don't let anyone or anything stop me seems to now not talk to me. It hurts because growing up we never really got along and then she became one of my best friends. I know there is a way to fix this but I'm so confused on how to? Do I change my major and go into another field and 10 or 15 years down the road wonder "what if"? Or do I not change my major and risk losing something dear to me?

So many questions and so many answers but which ones are the right answers? I'm confused and all I can say right now is changes are hard! I wish there was a way to just pull myself out of this and have everything be ok but I can't. Going through this will hopefully make me stronger and maybe....I don't know...I just don't know??

Butterfies & Relief

So on Sunday I had probably the most stressful shoot I have gone through. Why, you ask? Because I was talking the pictures for my best friend, Heather and her husband Kevin. I always want my pictures to turn out good but these I wanted to turn out great!
The day started with off with a phone call from one of THE BEST photographers I know, Amy Dawnelle. She has really been helping me with everything. I love her photos and her advise really helps a lot. After talking to her and taking all her advise with me I was ready to shoe her what I could do! Then I got to the park and the nerves hit me, HARD!
It seemed like every picture I took was either too dark or way to bright. No matter where I moved them, and I moved them all over, nothing seemed to work. Towards the end I started to get a little frustrated with myself but I tried really hard not to let it show on my face. Once we got in the car to drive to the strip I started to look at the pictures that I had taken and I just thought, "ok there is nothing I can do now. If they are really bad i'm sure I can take them again." Then we got there and I had a whole other challenge which is better saved for another blog!
Looking back now and after doing all the editing I think that I actually overreacted! I think the pictures came out really nice. There are actually a lot that I love! I thank Heather for letting me take pictures of her and Kevin. I thank Kevin for actually wearing  a dress shirt and making it look goooood! I truly thank God for blessing me with amazing people in my life!