Baby showers!

So on Sunday I had the opportunity to shoot my first baby shower. I gotta tell you I was nervous. I don't know why I was so nervous I was just going to a house I had never been to with a house full of people I have never seen before. No reason to be nervous!! I keep getting more and more nervous which is not good because in this profession you can't be nervous when you meet new people.
I first have to give a huge thank you to Janice who invited me to the shower and also a huge thank you to her daughter Amber who is actually having the baby. I think the first problem was that the party was at 3 in the afternoon so the light wasn't all that great. Also the light that I did have was fading quickly! I think the biggest problem though was that I was very unprepared! I have to learn more and keep practicing. But that is why we go things over and over again so we get better! I still have a lot to learn but I am an pen book just waiting to be filled with information.
Anyhow the results came out nice. I think so anyway....I hope that Amber and Janice like them. I also can't wait until December when Amber has the baby and she said I could take the newborn pictures! I am very excited about that but that is if they still want me to....

A Clear Head....Finally!

So I have been doing a lot of soul searching and praying for this past week. I will tell you one thing, this week as not been a walk in the park! I have shed a LOT of tears and written tons of pages in my journal. And everything boils down to this one thought....I can do this!
My last blog was probably the lowest I have been in a long time. Funny how this time I wrote a blog about it. But to be perfectly honest it actually helped. Last Monday was my breaking point! I found myself on the floor of my kitchen, in the dark, crying my eyes out! But then the weirdest thing happened...I suddenly felt this warmth around me and all of the sudden my heart was full of love and the answers I had been looking for were all in my head. My tears of sadness and loneliness suddenly turned into tears of joy and hope. Hope...a word I thought was lost to me forever is now all I can think about. Hope for the future, hope for me, and hope for everyone else that I love and care about. But mainly hope for myself! I have lived to long worried about what other people think that I forget to think about what I want and what I care about. Even in my last blog I was worried about 1 person's opinion about what I want to do with my life and no one should ever make you question yourself! So lets start this over again.
My name is Bri, I'm 23 years old and I want to be a Photographer when I grow up! Then again I don't really want to grow up but yeah everyone has to someday. I have spent a week getting into my head and figuring out why I love photography......
I love what happens when people are put in front of a camera. You get to see someone for who they really are. There is so much you can do with photo shop but one thing you can't replace or add or edit is who the person is. I love being behind the camera and getting know someone all over again. I love the relationships you make at a photo shoot. Getting to be a part of someones special moment whether it is at a party, at a park, or even in the middle of the desert. Having someone trust you enough to let you see them is a feeling I don't think I would trade for anything. I hear people say to "live your life," and "don't waste another day," and I want to do all that from behind a camera lens. Travel the world and see everything that this beautiful planet has to offer. Being there for my friends on their special days. Capturing the absolute beauty of a single moment.
Things change and I use to think that changes were bad until I witnessed the biggest change of all....myself!

Confusing Changes

I don't know where to start? I thought I had everything figured out and now I think I really don't have anything figured out. I use to know what I wanted and now... I just don't know? Ever since I was little when anyone would ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up my answer was always the same, something in law enforcement. It went from a police officer, then a detective, then a profiler, and then a crime scene investigator. But the field never changed. That's what I wanted, that was my dream. Then when I got to high school things started to change.
I wanted to join the military, being really good in JROTC was a plus. I was good at it and I honestly can say that I loved it. I was also good in band but JROTC won my heart. I remember actually being excited to get up in the morning and go to school. 7th period was by far my favorite class, drill team. Then I got a job at Albertsons and high school ended. It was time for college and to actually decide what I wanted to be when I grew up.
College started and my major was nothing other than, Criminal Justice. My first year at UNLV was fun. I had no friends but the classes were fun and work actually worked with me so I could go to school and still keep my job. Then more changes happened and all of the sudden I went from a full time student to only taking one class a semester. Suddenly work became everything! I would get up in the morning, go to work, come home, sleep, and then do it all over again. That would be awesome if I liked what I did. Even to this day, 5 years later, I still work at Albertsons and right now I am not in school.
I'm not in school because if I restrict myself at work then I lose my hours, which means I lose money, which means I can't afford school. So I work as much as I can and put school on the back burner. Sitting here writing this makes me sad because you would think that a job would want you to further your education but that's not the case! Then one more change happens...
I decide to change my major from Criminal Justice to Photography and everything flips upside down. It's not enough that I can't afford to go to school but what really sucks is that now I actually want to go to school and become something better and I can't. I want to explore this amazing world and learn everything I can about this consantly changing field but I can't. I know where there is a will there is a way but I can't take the chance of my job finding out I'm going to school and cutting my hours, I can't take that chance! And the cherry on top of my pity cake is that the one person I thought would be happy for me, I don't really think is!
The one person who inspired me to chase a dream and don't let anyone or anything stop me seems to now not talk to me. It hurts because growing up we never really got along and then she became one of my best friends. I know there is a way to fix this but I'm so confused on how to? Do I change my major and go into another field and 10 or 15 years down the road wonder "what if"? Or do I not change my major and risk losing something dear to me?

So many questions and so many answers but which ones are the right answers? I'm confused and all I can say right now is changes are hard! I wish there was a way to just pull myself out of this and have everything be ok but I can't. Going through this will hopefully make me stronger and maybe....I don't know...I just don't know??

Butterfies & Relief

So on Sunday I had probably the most stressful shoot I have gone through. Why, you ask? Because I was talking the pictures for my best friend, Heather and her husband Kevin. I always want my pictures to turn out good but these I wanted to turn out great!
The day started with off with a phone call from one of THE BEST photographers I know, Amy Dawnelle. She has really been helping me with everything. I love her photos and her advise really helps a lot. After talking to her and taking all her advise with me I was ready to shoe her what I could do! Then I got to the park and the nerves hit me, HARD!
It seemed like every picture I took was either too dark or way to bright. No matter where I moved them, and I moved them all over, nothing seemed to work. Towards the end I started to get a little frustrated with myself but I tried really hard not to let it show on my face. Once we got in the car to drive to the strip I started to look at the pictures that I had taken and I just thought, "ok there is nothing I can do now. If they are really bad i'm sure I can take them again." Then we got there and I had a whole other challenge which is better saved for another blog!
Looking back now and after doing all the editing I think that I actually overreacted! I think the pictures came out really nice. There are actually a lot that I love! I thank Heather for letting me take pictures of her and Kevin. I thank Kevin for actually wearing  a dress shirt and making it look goooood! I truly thank God for blessing me with amazing people in my life!

The Desert and Heather

I have to say that today has been a great day! I got to finally take pictures in the desert. Seeing as how I live smack in the middle of one. I think at the right time the desert can be a beautiful thing. Not to mention that I was with a really good friend.
Heather, who I've only known since I started working at Albertson's, is a really good friend. She loves to take pictures so her and I were perfect lol. The day started out a little dense but that lasted about....2 minutes. I mean the girl was a natural! Sometimes it was so hard to take pictures because we were laughing so hard. I think that makes for a really good shoot. Now I am not saying that I am an excerpt but it was really fun.
She was also up for anything. From climbing a wall that was something like an inch wide to getting down in the dirt. I even think she got a rock stuck in her butt, she laughed it off and we went on! I think both her and I were covered in dirt when everything was all said and done!
All in all it was a great day! I thank God that he has blessed me with such amazing friends! I love my friends for being so willing to help me start in this business! I know it is not going to be easy but with friends like I have I know the road is going to be a little easier! Thank you God, you a good!

Children are not my talent

I want to start this blog by saying that I have the best friends in the whole world. I told the people I work with that I wanted to be a photographer and everyone was willing to let me take pictures of them and their families. I don't think I could ask for better people in my life. With that said let me tell you about what happened today......
Today was diffently an adventure. My friend Starr, who I have known for years, agreed to let me take pictures of her family. I was so happy that she said yes that I completely forgot that she has little grand-children. The oldest is 3! So I went into the shoot not really knowing what to exspect. Boy was that a mistake.
The children were so cute I am not saying anything bad about that but I just couldn't get a shot of them. I would get a good picture and then one of the girls wouldn't be smiling or one would be crying. I love photography but I don't think I am cut out for children photography. I will leave that to the professionals and the people who really love kids.
All in all I think I got a couple cute ones out of the day. I think I really need to start my photography class like now. I wish wednesday would hurry up and get here!

Nova

Aura

Icest

Baseball.....not easy to shoot

On Friday I attended my friend Melissa's baseball game. I was more nervous than when I shot Trinity & Brandon's pictures. Not only was the game at night, which is hard to shoot pictures in, but it was also a baseball game, which means motion which also means a lot of blurry pictures. I must admit that I had a TON of blurry ones but I got a couple good ones too.
Besides the shoot I had a great time hanging out with everyone on the team. I actually played with a couple of them last session but this season was just to hard with work and everything. I actually wanted to jump out there and start playing even though baseball is totally not my sport. Honestly, no sport is my sport but I still like to try and play. When I played with them last time they were amazing people and they still are. Jimmy, Melissa's husband, is still so passionate about the game and fairness of the game. Lou is still as funny as ever, she even paid for me to get in because Melissa forgot to tell me about the "cash only" rule. Phillip is stronger than ever and still runs faster than anyone I know. Then there is Autumn, Melissa and Jimmy's beautiful little girl. She doesn't play but she still as cute as ever and she also just as witty.
All in all it was a great night and I am really glad that I went. Doing this shoot helped me realize that I don't have a future in action photography. Which I am totally okay. I still like going, watching, and sometimes playing. They have another game next Friday if anyone is interested about going.
I know I will be there!

Lou

Nate